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Writer's pictureOtema Y

Thoughts

I pick up my phone and check your dp One time I opened your chat and you were online I typed ‘Hi’ and left it hanging Just so you’d see typing But I cleared it I did this just so you’d see that I longed to talk to you I did that so you’d see I had things to tell you But I cleared it cause I didn’t know if I had to talk to you I didn’t know if it was ‘right’ Sometimes I swear I hear your message tone Bet you didn’t know I had  one specially for you I know your status has never changed I’m in my zone and I wish I could know what’s happening in your zone I wish at this time your feelings were evident I wish you were one of those guys who tweeted their feelings Those guys who follow love quotes after a breakup And retweet those tweets I wish you were one of those guys who occasionally posted emotional pictures on Instagram Maybe you’re not one of those guys But maybe you could act like one of those guys who switch to that after a break up It’s quite difficult trying to figure out what’s in your head I’m wondering what you’re thinking I’m wondering what you do to keep busy What you do so you don’t think of me What if you seldom think of me? And when you do, you shrug and push thoughts of me away. Or should I tell you first what I do? I put my phone away as often as I can I stick my head in my school books and pretend like I’m extra swarmed with work I push thoughts of you away from my mind I surround myself with friends and laugh the hardest as if I’m having the most fun Just so the laughter tunes out thoughts of you. But when I can’t help it and I do think of you, I check everywhere for clues of your emotions you probably failed to hide So now will you let me know, someway somehow, what thoughts you have of me?

This is for you.

And for anyone else who has ever had these thoughts.

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